Sunday, July 11, 2010

Sunday not so funday

I seriously do not know what is the deal with me lately, I get irritated so easily and I hate feeling like this. I have so much to do today my house is a complete disaster and my parents will be here next weekend no bueno. I have a bunch of stuff I need to bake today so I can get a care package out to Steve tomorrow as Wednesday is the anniversary of the day we met (yes I know we are complete dorks to celebrate this but so be it!). I also have a list of songs and CD's a mile long to download onto my Ipod that I really need to get done today.... well maybe? I have laundry to do along with all that other fun "grown up" junk. I can already tell that this blog along with 90% of my others ones is going to be ALL over the place and I truly do apologize for that people probably read my blog and their heads spin! So on another note I have been doing a lot of thinking about the months to come and how much my life has and will continue to change. I currently have nothing but time on my hands (other then the 40 hell like hours I spend at work weekly) so with all of my new found free time I spend a lot of it thinking about the future. I have decided being a "grown up" is pretty much over rated, I mean house payments, thoughts of starting a family, deciding on the best plan for when this deployment is over (active duty, civilian job ect.). I am 26 by the time Steve gets home I will be well on my way to 28 (holy crap when did all these years fly by?) we really want to start a family when he gets home and sell our house and buy a bigger one. If he decided to continue with active duty (right now active duty retirement is so close for him this is my hope) it would change our plans a little, we would not sell our house but rent it our because we would most likely end up relocating to another state and live on base or off base depending on what part of the county we end up in. Starting a family is the only definite right now and I am not going to lie I am so excited about that! I have had major baby fever for the last year or so but it just was not the right time and in the grand scheme of things I am more then glad that it didn't happen because the only thing worse then this deployment alone would be raising a child for a year on my own (props to all you "single" Mommy's out there). I guess what I am getting to is just this, I have SO much time these days to think about everything. One last thing before I end this oh so random post I was on the phone with my wonderful husband this morning and he says to me " I hope you don't forget about me" now first things first, I could never forget about him he truly is such an amazing person inside and out and I am so thankful daily that he chose me to spend his life with (I don't know what I did to deserve him but whatever it was I am more then thankful). Second I think about him all day every day I mean seriously all day every day, he is never far from my thoughts or worries. Third and final thought on this (now I am confident this is about to sound awful but whatever) I am so glad to know that he joking or seriously feels this way because I often have worries about that, like what if he goes away for a year and likes the feeling of being alone? I know it's a crazy thought but I have heard stories so you just never know.



  1. This is our first deployment, and I'm not going to lie: the phrase "out of sight, out of mind" had me worried the whole pre-deployment. Now, nearly 4 months into the deployment- we are more in love than ever. So it's more like "absense makes the heart grow fonder" :)

  2. I am feeling the same way, it makes me realize just how full my life is with him in it. This is also our first deployment 400 day deployment and he did about 5 months of training prior to leaving for deployment. Its just been an adjustment for boht of us, hes my best friend so it's been kinda a double wammy!

  3. Thanks for being a new follower. I look forward to following your journey through deployment. Although this is my husband's 4th deployment - it is our first together. Even at my age (44) and with grown children - it is the most lonliest and frightening time! You are not alone!