sorry friends...

I have been the worst blogger ever lately. I have been so busy and so full of stress since my husband left a few weeks back. I got offered and accepted a new job last week, same company different location and department. I am really excited about the job it is going to be a great career move for the future. The first few weeks my husband was gone were by far the hardest things kept changing as far as plans, call times and his location and it was causing me mucho stress. Things for now have calmed down and I am now finally starting to get into a routine thank goodness for that. I had a really hard first week or so as far as sleeping went but that has now gotten much better as well. I miss him more then there are words and there are days I honestly feel like this year is going to kill me but.... we have talked a lot of the past few weeks and decided to start trying for a baby when he comes home on his 2 week R&R we are both more then excited. His R&R is going to be to be late in his deployment cycle so he wont be missing out on much, we can't wait to start our family and we have decided that there is never going to be the perfect time so lets just do it! Our 2 year anniversary is on the 27th of this month and it is really hard to believe it has already been 2 years it seems like just yesterday we met and here we are 4 years later. I will try hard to be better at this whole blogging thing especially now that I have had some time to adjust to this whole deployment idea.

Missed calls

So today I officially missed not only one but two phone calls from my husband I have not heard from him in 2 days now and I missed the calls.... awesome!

Seattle trip pictures! (there were a million here are a few)

I just love him....

Not at all how I saw yesterday going.....

So I am finally back from all of my travels and I have no real trips planned again for the next few months. I am more then exhausted it has been 2 crazy full weeks. Seattle as I said in my prior post was such an amazing time and I promise there will be pictures tonight! The FRG weekend meeting in CT was also a good time it made me feel a lot better to meet some of the spouses and families of the guys my husband will be spending the next year with. I met one wife while I was in Seattle briefly and spend much of this last weekend getting to know her and she and her kids are such wonderful people I am so thankful that I had that opportunity. I am looking forward to staying in touch with some of the girls especially the one I spent much of the weekend with as her and my husband will be spending much time together over this next year. I started my day off yesterday with a 4:30 am ish call from my husband he had made it to Kuwait safely thank goodness one less thing to worry about for now, it was so great to hear his voice. I got up showered for work and was leaning in a doorway speaking with my brother and one of his friends (they stayed the night passing through town) and woke up on the floor with my brother and his friend in my face asking if I was ok? I went to the ER where they did a million and one blood tests, an EKG (that showed my heart rhythm is good but my heart is beating slow), 2 bags of IV fluid and 20+ blood pressure checks (they couldn't get my blood pressure up). It was a long day full of Dr's and nurses I was so glad that they finally released me late yesterday afternoon all I wanted to do was be at home. They still are not sure why my heart is beating slow and my blood pressure is so low but I will be wearing a holter monitor for 3-5 days to track my heart so we should maybe know more soon. I am feeling a little better today by no means am I well, I still feel shaky, run down and weak but I am hoping the results of the rest of my blood work will be in today with some answers. I have been under a huge amount of stress and anxiety with the whole deployment and having my life out of whack so to say (my routine is and has been shot since pre-deployment training started). I did finally get the call over the weekend letting me know he was leaving for Kuwait and the call that he arrived safely so he is finally gone and I don't know how I feel about it yet. I know he has been gone for months and months but I could call him and he could call me everyday and now I sit and wait for his calls and never know when the phone will ring and it sucks. I know that I need to find a way to stress less because I now know just how it can effect someone and I'm not going to lie yesterday really scared me I really need to find a routine and some how find relaxation in life. I have been having a lot of issues sleeping lately I have little to no trouble falling asleep but staying asleep is a huge issue, I did speak to the Dr. yesterday about the stress and sleep issues possibly being related to passing out and they said it's possible but again they don't know. I will update as I know more but for now I am feeling a little better and trying to not stress about everything so much.

MIA

Sorry I have been MIA lately but life has just been CRAZY. I got back late Tuesday night from Seattle/ Ft. Lewis, I had such an amazing time. It was a very bitter sweet trip for me, while I was more then excited to see my wonderful husband knowing at the end of the trip we would be saying good bye again but this time for much much longer hung over both of our heads. We did all the fun tourist things; The Space Needle, Pikes Place Market (my favorite thing we did), shopping downtown, a lunch cruise on Lake Washington to watch the Blue Angels air show. We did so many fun things and I have to be honest in saying a few things, First I completely LOVE Seattle for that matter the whole sate of Washington, and second this was by far the most memorable and one of the best if not the best places vacation wise me and Steve have ever been. Steve's pass was Friday through Monday however I was able to pick him up Thursday around lunch time and he was with me until I left for the airport to come home Tuesday late afternoon I must say that I am more then thankful that we had those extra couple of half day's together. The more that I am away from my husband the more I realize that I just function better with him around and the more I realize that he is what makes my life everything that I had ever dreamed that it would be. I am so lucky to have such a sweet, thoughtful, understanding and patient husband I don't know how I got so lucky! I will post some pictures of our trip soon and I promise I will get back into regular blogging now that things have finally kind of settled down. I am leaving again tomorrow to go to Hartford CT for our yellow ribbon phase 3 meeting should be a good time with lots of helpful information I'm sure. One last thing that just came to mind, I met a lot of the soldiers that Steven is deploying with and all I have to say is that he is so lucky to be with such a great group of people, I know it made me feel so much better to meet them and know that they all "have each others backs".

FRG

I am such a serious blog slacker.... As you may know or not know for that matter my husband was cross leveled to deploy with a unit out of CT. I had my first FRG meeting tonight well kind of and by that I mean it was via a tela-conference. It was actually nice to hear from the commanders and master Sgt. of his unit on how the guys are doing. Me and the Mr. do talk daily but because he is now working 12 hour shifts and with the time change, me working days and he working nights so the conversations are brief to say the least. I know that it will not be forever and I am learning to be okay with it, but never the less it is always nice to hear from someone else that all the guys are doing well. I am really missing the husband today and knowing that in one week I will be headed to see him is so EXCITING! It is a very bitter sweet thing for me right now as much as I cannot wait to see him, I also know that at the end of his 4 day pass with in a small amount of time he will be leaving the country for Iraq. I feel like even though we are living the deployment life it is not the "true deployment life" yet and by this I mean he is still in the states and he is safe and I know that. It seemed so real tonight hearing the commander say that they would be flying to Iraq in the near future, wow like this Iraq thing is really happening and soon wow.